The groom I still wish I had

I am working on being content.  Often I am content, even more than content in my present situation, but then there are those times when I am not.  Yes, I do want to be married, I do want a man so in love with God that he hates me in comparison.  I want a man that, as I decided in high school, is pursuing the list of the 12 Knightly Virtues.

I used to also want a man that was tallish, with dark, wavy, thick hair.  One with dark eyes and skin.  Maybe even one with an accent as my sister's man had.  How romantic does that sound?  Well, alas, I think that wonderful dream has disappeared.  My prayers have instead turned toward this man's heart, his ministry to the Lord, and his growth in the knowledge and love of God.  

I have asked God for a great man.  My prayers have been for a man with a heart to serve God as Luther and Bonhoeffer had.  Only recently have I begun to think of what this would really mean.  I have been greatly humbled in reflection of what this man, if God were to give him to me, would have to deal with in having me given to him.  So then, my prayers have also turned to becoming the kind of woman that this kind of man would need.  Praying for such a thing is like praying for hardship and trials, yet God is good and gentle and kind and He is a wonderful master and teacher to me.  

After some discussion about this with my mom and dad I have changed my attitude a bit towards this man who will someday be mine.  If I have met this man or if I meet him in the future, my desires now are to behave toward him in a God honoring way.