The groom I still wish I had

I am working on being content.  Often I am content, even more than content in my present situation, but then there are those times when I am not.  Yes, I do want to be married, I do want a man so in love with God that he hates me in comparison.  I want a man that, as I decided in high school, is pursuing the list of the 12 Knightly Virtues.

I used to also want a man that was tallish, with dark, wavy, thick hair.  One with dark eyes and skin.  Maybe even one with an accent as my sister's man had.  How romantic does that sound?  Well, alas, I think that wonderful dream has disappeared.  My prayers have instead turned toward this man's heart, his ministry to the Lord, and his growth in the knowledge and love of God.  

I have asked God for a great man.  My prayers have been for a man with a heart to serve God as Luther and Bonhoeffer had.  Only recently have I begun to think of what this would really mean.  I have been greatly humbled in reflection of what this man, if God were to give him to me, would have to deal with in having me given to him.  So then, my prayers have also turned to becoming the kind of woman that this kind of man would need.  Praying for such a thing is like praying for hardship and trials, yet God is good and gentle and kind and He is a wonderful master and teacher to me.  

After some discussion about this with my mom and dad I have changed my attitude a bit towards this man who will someday be mine.  If I have met this man or if I meet him in the future, my desires now are to behave toward him in a God honoring way.

Joseph's window this morning . . .

This was too funny.  I have no idea who did it, but really, too funny . . . unless it really is a girl, then it's too weird!  She'd do so much better just coming to me than leaving stocker notes on windows . . . oh dear!

Happy Valentines Day!!

Growing up, I always looked forward to Valentines Day.  It was a day when we gave each other chocolate, hung hearts up all over, the day when Mom would make the table beautiful with surprises before we woke up, and the day when we got a great steak dinner.  What is there not to like about it?  Besides, it was the day that we talked about love and my name means love.  It's like a holiday that I'm named for.

When I came to college though, I started to hear what others thought about the day.  It was not so good as what I thought.  Valentines, many of the people around me would say, is the day when you realize that you have no man (or woman for the men) in your life.  It is "single awareness" day.  Really, that's just stupid.

In Life Together by Deitrich Bonhoeffer, he writes about true love.  In this book he makes a clear argument how we, as people of God can love in one of two ways.  We can love with a love that is human love or we can love with a love that is spiritual love.  This human love has its roots in what I can gain from loving another person.  When that other person does not do what is expected, I become offended and my "love" turns to hatred.  Loving in a proper spiritual way has its roots in Christ.  I will love others for who they are in Christ.  There is no expectations that hang on to this kind of love, but simply a giving motivated by Christ.  Spiritual love is not downtrodden with expectations, but joyful in sacrifice.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, 

I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, 

and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, 

but have not love, I am nothing . 

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, 

and though I give my body to be burned, 

but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 

does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

My Groom

Sitting on our beds in my little room, a new friend and I had a great discussion on our groom.  You didn't know I had one?  Oh! but I do!  He is wonderful, beautiful, magnificent, strong, kind, loving, submissive, faithful beyond imagination, a servant and yet a king.  My friend lit up as she described this wonderful groom in her life.  "Why, I wouldn't mind being single my whole life just knowing that He is mine!"  We will not always be single even if we don't get married till the day we die. Because, on that day, we will see Him!  Her groom and my groom is one and the same.  He is our redeemer Jesus Christ.  This wonderful groom did not only find me and love me but He redeemed me from a wretched and fallen state from which I had no hope of salvation.  He then protects, guides, and watches over me.  He calls me to walk worthy of my position as bride (of which I fail miserably) and He is the head of my life.  In a strange and yet wonderful way, He not only has done this and is this for me, but He is this for all other believers.  Marian and I continued to talk about this wonderful groom and how, really, we are most happy when we give ourselves completely to Him.  She said it really is not that hard, just tell Him I am Yours and let Him do as He wills.  Well, I must admit I find it hard, but I don't want to and I was so encouraged by our little talk.

And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, 

as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, 

"Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! 

Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, 

and His wife has made herself ready."  

And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, 

for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.